Tag Archives: EMOTIONS

WHY DO WE LOVE FALLING IN LOVE?

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best-love-quotes One of the most vital emotions that truly make the world go round is love… I have always wondered what exactly is it about love that makes everyone(without exception) undergo a transformation. The answer was not simple.. but had to be found. There are a few things however that need to be clarified a) only sensitive but brave souls can venture in the domain of love b) they will get hurt,depressed,obsessed,freaked out but eventually it will all make sense c) is it worth it?

Goddamn YES.

Now, the reason we go crazy loving and being loved is that for the first time in our lives we experience selflessness…. which in itself is a wonderful emotion. When a person is in love he or she unknowingly gives himself or herself completely to his or her lover.Whether it is about starting to change your looks,giving up a few commitments for a loved one, adjusting to that new person,knowing that she is the one worth giving it all up for- this feeling of ego-lessness that you share with your girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse is essentially what brings you happiness and misery yes, initially we are fine with our unselfish selves but then our conditioning takes over, even in relationships, it is at this time that love silently exits from our life and what enters is misery,possessiveness,betrayal and depression. The beauty of the jewel called love is in giving it away freely, without our customary miserliness, you can’t love in percentages or wait for a return of the favour. Our egos are so inflated that we cannot even love our loved one wholeheartedly.. after a few months into a relationship we selfish people start questioning ourselves- Why am I being so devoted?  I CHANGED MY LIFE PLAN FOR HIM/HER TO FIT IN, WHAT IS HE/SHE DOING IN RETURN?That my friend is a stupid question, the moment you place yourself in a superior position that your lover you are in for trouble..the demon has returned and now try how much you may the mirage of a beautiful love lies shattered and yes, you may keep changing your lovers like clothes but you will still be left pining for that magic that is present in a relationship’s first few months. The situation becomes even more difficult when you have to HAPPILY sacrifice your interests in order that your relationship work and that is a tough call, this is the reason why husbands and wives quarrel. Each one has sacrificed his or her interests for the betterment of their marriage but the sacrifice needs to be complete you can not save yourself in love, no you can’t,your ego will be tossed and turned like a rag doll in a hurricane but you have to not give up on love. Wives are famous for taunting,nagging etc – that is so because in India a woman sacrifices,adjusts and her ego takes a toss lot more often than her husband’s but her love is not yet complete, her little self tries to preserve itself when she thinks how much she has sacrificed for their marriage to work.. the demon fights back and who is to bear it?The henpecked husband and vice versa so, we have a quintessential  couple, always fighting always longing but not ready to take the complete plunge.So, if you are in love dissolve yourself completely don’t try and save yourself,love like you have never loved anyone,don’t expect anything..the reward is the happiness you get in giving,  each time your ego is dealt a blow accept it and love.Easier said than done, but the bitter medicine once gulped will do the trick.You will experience the love that you have longed for,till then,keep practicing giving love, soon you shall receive it in unmeasurable hugs and kisses.

“You never lose by loving, you always lose by holding back”

A HAPPY GIRL IS NOT A MYTH

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“A HAPPY GIRL IS NOT A MYTH “

Hey Gorgeous!

The movie Pyar ka punchnama had a dialogue which became very famous, “A happy woman is a myth” 🙂 hmm,I heard that entire dialogue very carefully, and laughed my heart out.. when my hysterical laughter abated then I realised that whatever that guy had said was partially TRUE and for some girls completely true;) .Now now, I am no advocate for mens’ rights, but seriously I do care for women and I want to tell every mummy, girlfriend, chachi ,bhabhi , saas,biwi etc that “TAKE CONTROL OF YOURSELF AND NOT OF YOUR bhai, pati,beta etc”. The most important thing for a woman today is to be happy, naa, not with her bf/hubby but without him ———–yes trust me this is the secret of a happy YOU which equals a happy relationship and thereby a happy family. We women are very emotional and extremely soft hearted , for our hubby, bf, even for that special friend but girl, why are we always misunderstood as nagging, demanding, possessive bloodthirsty vampires who have no other work to do except become the GPS for our man? The problem runs deep : since childhood we are ingrained with this fact that “ab pati hi tumhara sansaar hai”, etc etc An Indian woman is mind, heart and body trained to think of herself as a gift(item of utility) for her husband and nothing else……. and so when this beautiful ,caring and sensitive woman enters that threshold of her life when she finds her prince charming the entire gamut of latent emotions of extreme love, selflessness, possession become active our sweet pretty and charming girl gives up herself completely to that one guy, all her life now revolves around him, she readily gives up a few things she loved to accept all that he loves, she is so selfless, that she completely adjusts to her new AND ONLY ROLE as a biwi or a gf and then begins the horrible lambasting from her beau- (its the same sorry story for everyone)

Tum kyun meri jaan khaati rehti ho?

Busy hun baad mein call karta hun

Arrey yaar hadd hai kitni aur kya baat karun

Haan haan i love u too(jaan chodo meri)

Nahi ,bahar hun doston ke saath kal baat karenge

Kya problem, kya hai tumhari

Jaan, tv dekh lo, ghoom aao, kuch padh lo

In short deviji kuch bhi karo meri jaan chodo 😉

<<<<<<sounds familiar THEN CHANGE IT!!!

I know u love your guy your hubby he is your everything your world but here I’d like to present a few facts :

It doesn’t matter if u have the best guy in the world trust me there is 1 person whom u ought to love more than him and that is –YOU.

You have married him or are in a relationship with him but u do not own him, he has his circle of friends who hold an important place in his life yes yes along with u, but what abt u?

U need to let go of your hubby or your bf he was alive and kicking even when u were not there in his life, aint it?

I am not telling you to do this as an act of vengeance -do it as an act of love, true, unadulterated, unwavering pure rock solid love and u will see that its very easy to be possessive what is tough is to grant him the space he needs and what is of vital importance is to give your being the space u as an individual have every right to get. So contrary to what u have been trained for here is a quicklist to revamp your relationship and invigorate it with the essence of true 24 carat love:

  1. You have to find and then do things that make YOU HAPPY:

Some options to get u started:

Visit an orphanage, buy flowers for yourself, go shopping with your girlfriends or even alone, pick up a good read, take a spa , do gardening, chill out, hang out, dance, scream rejoice for just being yourself.

2. STOP PESTERING your hubby or bf, enough of a satellite you have been, once you become happy all by yourself u wont even believe how very happy your bf or hubby will become

P.S. –there is a real dearth of damsels who are really happy from within, he will respect and love u more take my word for it

3. DO NOT track his whereabouts, he is an individual who has every right to live the life he wants to, your tracking doesn’t help anyone, not even you, eventually he will do what he wants to there is no stopping it and if he has you in his life, he has damn good judgement ,sense and choice so no worries 😀

4. LOVE with all your heart and without any expectation, if he doesn’t take you out for shopping this weekend no issues , if he dint pick your call and dint respond in the next 3 hrs of that missed call no issues, he must have been busy, don’t yell, keep calm and chillax (holds true even when u r down and out<pun intended>)

5. You are first responsible to yourself. Girl you have immense power and potential– your emotions use them constructively god has given u feelings and sentiments their entire purpose cannot be JUST TO KEEP A TAB OF UR BF/HUBBY .They have a bigger purpose………. find it mine is writing yours maybe dancing, swimming, acting, anything under the sun but its definitely not just your bf/hubby. 😛

6. A plea to you all for God’s sake don’t become the typical biwi /gf :

Please let loose, let go ,enjoy, laugh out loud and that’s when you will truly and totally falsify the myth that

“A HAPPY GIRL IS A MYTH”

GIRLS ROCK(Y)

(feel free to share it with all the other beautiful females- liberate and let live, hope each one of you finds her eternal source of inner happiness, independent of everything)
©smritispeaks2014

@the HATKE Insight